If you’re not yet good at getting girls, or worse, you’re in an extended dry spell when it comes to women, it is unrealistic to go from that to full belief that you can attract, let alone seduce, beautiful women.

Many of the guys who have bought my ebook come from troubled pasts, low self esteem and prolonged loneliness. You can’t just give a guy a book like that and expect him to change instantly. The brain doesn’t work like that: Like any muscle, it operates based on a use it or lose it principle, picking up internal reference points based on raw, uncut EXPERIENCE.

That’s right guys – forget the buddhist ideals that one must be ‘happy to simply be, without external entities contributing to your inner state of peace’. I am telling you now that such thought is, in our universe with our atomic properties, RETARDED. You are in fact designed to feel sad and lonely when you don’t have any women, instead of fighting that feeling you have to GET UP and TAKE ACTION. In psychology, it is well known that any improvement in feeling must be preceded by action first. In short, FEELINGS FOLLOW ACTIONS, never the other way around. If you sit there and wait to feel better, you will just feel worse. The only solution is to put yourself in the firing line, in order to pick up reference points, which are little mental notes based on true experience, that your brain uses to adapt to the environment. THAT is what gives you competence with women, in the end, when you have so many reference points that you know precisely what to do at the right time.

For example, you go out, you talk to a group of two girls. The one is interested, the other is ugly and bitter that you like her friend. The ugly girl precedes to ‘cockblock’ you, and drags your otherwise interested target away. Reference point here is: ugly girls cockblock, find a way to stop this happening. Then the next time you go out, you try out ways to get around this reference point; you might actually befriend the ugly girl so that she doesn’t mind if you hit on her friend, as you are now her friend too.

The road to picking up reference points is hard and tedious. It requires many nights of mistakes, mishaps and unpleasant moments, harsh blowouts and all the stuff that makes you feel like quitting. Such negativity, is overwhelmingly positive in the long run, if you LEARN from these reference points. If you handle rejection with your bitter ego instead of thinking PAST your emotions, and deciphering rationally WHY it didn’t work out with X or Y girl, and what you could do in the future to fix your errors.

But reference points can also be positive experiences: a girl riding on your dick, is a reference point. In fact, it’s 3 reference points: Girls like sex. Girls like me. All the hard work is worth it.

Because thoughts arise from neural pathways, each time you take on a new reference point, experiencing something new and alien to you previously, you are literally causing the synthesis of physical brain tissue, effectively creating a new brain. Once you’ve approached thousands of women and gained great success, you will see the world through new eyes. You will look at the bar, feeling like a different person from the guy who first walked in all those years ago, trembling in fear. This is because you literally do have a NEW BRAIN.

Creation of new neural pathways takes time. Much like building muscle takes time. However much one would wish to be able to build a 50 inch chest in a day, this cannot happen, given the rules of our universe. The process involves hard work, it is tedious and involves many setbacks (injuries, poor workouts) along the way, but as long as the bodybuilder sticks with it, he will meet his goals eventually, over a long period. The only way he loses his muscle is if he stops exercising altogether. All the above is true for the brain: Given the energy it takes for the brain to function, it is only efficient to make use of neural pathways which are in use, while the others are gradually discarded.

Using this analogy, we can now see what the transition from completely celibate loser, to happy ladies man, is going to be like, IN REALITY. It will consist of hard work, persistence, gradually expanding comfort zones (viz gradual increases in weight for bodybuilders), setbacks and many, many lows. It will consist of many useful reference points, but no results, until, one day, hopefully soon, you get a positive reference point as a result of your learning from all the past negatives. You might get a girl attracted to you; she is leaning in to you, touching you, and reinitiating the conversation when there is silence. Even if you haven’t built a connection, you get her number and she flakes. Reference points: GIRLS ARE ATTRACTED TO ME (key!!) . Girls tend to flake if you have not justified your interest in her, or spent enough time and effort to build a connection with her and get her invested in you. And SO on. This gradual, step by step accumulation of reference points WILL, if you pick up and learn from reference points, end with the girl on dick reference point. And that is how your reality REALLY gets changed.

Love,
James